Quiet Day of Reflection

Tomorrow it will be exactly one year since Ann died. But today will be the only semi-quiet day I have this week. So I will spend as much of it as possible being still inside. Ann Loved the sparkle of Christmas lights. They just made her happy, as did her lava lamp. In all of her paintings she worked to get light and shadow just right, and she loved reflections in water of all forms, clear ice, water, the glare off of snow, etc. So I will hang a string of multi-colored Christmas lights in her memory.

Mixis Question and a Funny Conversation

I DO wish Blogger would give screen reader users like me access to the comments page! Then D7ana wouldn't end up answering most of my questions. But are there going to be a new line of Mixis dolls? Will they be the same dolls in new outfits or new "Mixes" of racial backgrounds? I would like to see the latter or some male Mixis dolls. Do these girls Have to date Ken! They're too smart! Well maybe they can meet a nice Power Ranger or G.I. Joe who is Home from the wars!

I've been sick with a vicious stomach but going around in our area which has lots of people out of work. It isn't a flu, which is respiratory, but they used to call it "the stomach flu" around here. No details, don't worry. But it's horrid and I'm keeping everyone I can away from me so They don't catch it.

That's what led to this funny conversation with a sighted friend.

(friend) "When I can't keep anything down I eat or even drink clear jello. Strawberry is my favorite, but you can get jello in any flavor."

(me) "Wait a minute, I'm confused, what is clear jello? Sighted people wouldn't drink something they could see through that has a flavor like strawberry."

(friend) "Oh, it's got red food coloring in it, but no fruit or marshmallows or things like that in it."

(me) "So it's just plain jello, right?"

(friend) "Yah, I guess so, plain jello with nothing in it."

(me) "Ok, got it. Does it help?"

To me, "clear red jello doesn't make sense. Or maybe it's red, but you can still see through it, translucent red jello? Makes about as much sense as that horrid nylon sewing thread which comes in "dark clear" and "light clear". Hu?

At least fishing line is still Clear clear, only you can see it, I'm told, because it is thick, has an edge. Maybe the only thing which is Really clear is that Clear is a subjective word when describing anything but glass with no coloring or water. And my bet is that there is sadly Precious little Clear water anymore. The river I used to swim in as a kid reflected everything and I was told you could still see every rock on the bottom. Now it isn't even Dark clear, it's just sick.

Delighted!

A long time ago Ann told me that I would have to learn to work with patterns in sewing and learn to make the same things over and over. I was bummed by this, as I Never run out of new designs for doll clothing, in my head. Ann was so good at making patterns that I could just Describe clearly what a piece of finished clothing should look like and she could make a paper pattern for it and cut it out.

My problem has been that most of the time, I cannot sew as straight as a sewing machine. But I think I may have conquered this problem for Good! Ann was right, I did use a purchased pattern. And a sighted friend cut it out. But Then she put a line of half inch wide rough textured Tape along the pinned edge and I sewed just Inside the tape, along the edge. Today another sighted person looked at my work. She is someone I can Trust for an Honest opinion about How something Truly looks. She declared it Fantastic, and as good as doll clothing sold online! Finally, Yeh!!

So, I wuill keep ripping out and re-sewing my own designs, but I will Mostly use patterns and Taped pinned cloth. I can vary the patterns by decorative touches like ribbon, differing colors of cloth, bead work, etc. When I get better at it I can add sleeves or vary their length, or subtract them. But Finally finding a way to sew perfectly Straight is for me a Major Achievement! I called up the friend who suggested the tape idea to leave a Thank You message for when she gets home from work.

And OJ, the canary, is living and his wing is healing. The birds are back together now in a compltely cleaned cage, and I Won't play anymore canary tapes until Breeding season is Over, mit to late Feb. so maybe he won't try to love Father or Brother Rafi again and get beaten up for his trouble.

Animals, doll Question, and Frustrations About blindness

OJ is still living, as are the other two flaps, (birds). None of them are happy, as the isolation cagews are smaller than the big one they shared. But until OJ's wing heals, its Iso. for him, (isolation cage). His cage is near enough to see, hear, and yell at the other two, so he will be Less scared than otherwise. Gives me the chance, the Joy? of cleaning the big bird cage, YUCK! Ann and I used to make this a team effort and I Don't like doing it alone, just as I don't seem to have the energy for a yowling, (talky?) cat when he wants attention, food, or anything else. I swear, he looks like a Russian Blue, but his eyes are the wrong color for that and from his Voice and Volume, I thing he's part Siamese. Ann was a much better cat chooser than me. She loved fuzzy buzzy lap cushions which she could mentally "get in tune with" and pur along. I like happy, playful, cuddly cats ok. This one just Ain't! Dude has Catitude out the . . . Oh Well.

Doll Question. Have you ever gotten a doll which just felt especially good, or bad? What I mean is, do you think any of the designer's feelings or intention actually survive the manufacturing process so that when you buy the doll it has a feeling which isn't yours connected with it? I have had this experience and just wondered if others have.

I don't like super straightened hair for African American or African dolls, and yet I like Grace of the SIS dolls. She just has a Feeling about her. I like Trichelle because of her cool clothes, curly hair, and the color contrast of her skin and hair. To me, these things make her more interesting than Kara. But I can't explain Why I like Grace. The glitter on her lip is cool, but Pink Ain't my favorite color, Especially for Dolls! Is this the favoritism which gave Grace the car?

New subject: Sometimes being blind is just a pain in the butt! Ann owned a boom box with a multi-CD. tray. I hate those because I can so Easily mix up CD.'s and their cases. All it takes is for me to push the button telling this machine to go to tray Three, and the machine goes to tray Two instead. I take out the CD. from what I Think is tray Three, put it in the Wrong cover, then put it away. Next time I want the CD. from tray Two, it's Gone, and the machine keeps switching to some other tray (probably three, Finally) and beginning to play the Wrong disk. I use this boom box for reading while I do kitchen work or sewing. The stereo (Yep, it actually has a Turn Table) in the living room has only One CD. tray, the way I Want it. Of course, the sollution is to keep only One CD. at a time in the kitchen boom box. I try. But once in a while I stupidly play a second one and this is all it takes to screw up two disks and two covers.

Also, I Cannot find a good way to cut out a Pattern! Annoying! I have to wait for a sighted person to help straighten out CD.'s and covers, And to cut anything out! So I guess I'll go clean the bird cage, Gross!

Pepper Spraying Teens in Birmingham Schools

If this description of events is correct, what is happening to teens in Birmingham's schools is Totally Unacceptable! But I don't know about banning the use of pepper spray altogether. How do other police Dept.s handle the use of pepper spray in schools? I can imagine it being preferable to breaking up a group of kids involved in violence instead of beatings or shooting. What do you think? The fact that the Southern Poverty Law Center has taken notice makes me think the use of pepper spray in Birmingham's schools has probably gotten Way out of line.


In a Birmingham, Alabama high school, a girl named Gloria turned around to confront
a boy who pushed her while she waited for her mother after school. When she went
up to her attacker, Gloria says
a police officer stationed in the school pulled her from behind, and shot her with
pepper spray directly in her face, mouth, and eyes
.
Gloria's mom, LaTonya Stearns, said seeing her daughter after she was pepper-sprayed
in school was "like a nightmare." "I couldn't believe how red and swollen her face
was," LaTonya said. "She was crying out to me to help her and I couldn't do anything."
What's incredible to LaTonya is that, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center,
nearly 200 other Birmingham students have been pepper-sprayed by police officers
in just the last 5 years
. They've been unable to find
any other school system
that allows pepper spray use this frequently for what amounts to typical teen behavior.
LaTonya thinks it's ridiculous that Birmingham schools allow police officers to use
pepper spray on students so often, so she wants to work with her city's mayor to
change the policy.
She started a petition on Change.org asking Birmingham's Mayor to work with police and school officials to stop pepper-spraying students. Click here to add your name to her petition
.
After she was pepper-sprayed in school, Gloria's face was red, swollen, and covered
in welts for days. The welts turned into black scabs that didn't go away for weeks.
It hurt to wash her face, as water only made the pain worse. She soon fell into deep
depression and refused to come out of her room.
"She's a teenage girl, not a criminal," said Gloria's mom, LaTonya.
Birmingham's frequent use of pepper spray against students is not a secret to the
city's mayor, school board, and police department. Local media have reported on the
city's disturbing trend, but city officials have yet to respond with a way to stop
the pepper spray attacks on students.
LaTonya wants to work with Birmingham's mayor, city council, and school officials
to make sure that Birmingham students no longer have to fear being attacked by police
officers in schools for normal teenage behavior. Your signature on LaTonya's petition
can make a difference by showing Birmingham officials that the rest of the country
is watching the city's treatment of students.
Click here to sign LaTonya's petition asking Birmingham to stop pepper-spraying students in the city's schools
.

Changes, Happier

Well, OJ the canary was still alive this morning. A friend stopped by and said that one of his wings was bloody and that the finch named Rafi had feathers pulled out. So they are now separated into different cages. Iremembered that either Neosporin (sorry about spelling, if wrong) or Tripple Antibiotic could be used on injured birds. Called pet store to find out if this was still true, (no new science, etc.) and when they said yes, OJ let himself be doctored. I am very glad to have found out what was wrong and to have separated the two combatants while both are still alive!

Many years ago Ann and I bought a White Hooded Nun Finch, and a Black Hooded Nun Finch. We decided since they were called "nuns" we'd start with "sister's" names. Mine, with the black hood was Sister Ursula, and Ann's with the white hood was Sister Rafaella. But Ursula's name had to be changed to Father Ursul, and Rafaella's name was Father Rafi. It has been canary mating season and OJ has no girlfriend. Far be it from me to harrass a gay canary, but evidently Father Rafi didn't appreciate OJ's advances. OJ is lucky his Eyes didn't get pecked out. When birds fight they can be Horrid! So, at least OJ and Rafi are alive today and I am Glad! The third living finch is Rosebug, she is smaller than the others, doesn't fight, and is a Rosy Rumped Wax Bill. Ursul died of old age in the Winter of 2010. He and Rafi were great buddies, being so similar that they could have interbred, If one of them Had been female.

Turkey's in the oven, I have some time to myself and clean up the kitchen mess, I am thankful!

Many Changes

Tonight I was and probably am going to make rice stuffing for the turkey someone gave me for Christmas. I just wasn't up to making it then. I'll put home cooked spiced fruit with wallnuts, onions, shredded carrots, and a mix of brrown and wild rice altogether. I learned to make this by experimenting because Ann couldn't eat anything with wheat, barley, or rye in it, or all the foods which contain gluten from wheat. Ann learned from a cooking show that if you make slits in the thawed turkey's skin and tuck in the stuffing, the meat picks up the flavor of the stuffing. It makes the turkey look funny, but tastes great.

I have some pears with sweetener, ginger, cinnamon, and fennel, (not sure how to spell that spice). Will moisten rice and veggies. (probably cole slaw mix and onions and green peppers, with pears. Before cooking, will add wallnut pieces, so they stay a bit crunchy after cooking.

In many ways which are individually small but may be large when added together, things are changing. I'm making a dish I only made for Ann on holidays. Just figured all of the deer burger spaghetti and fruit salad were eaten, and would enjoy turkey. Then I decided if I was going to cook it, might as well cook it with the stuffing we, now just I, like.

Also began setting up a room for reading my Braille books, studying Braille maps, and for meditation, with Buddhist altar in it. I have a small altar shelf or space in each room where anything important happens. Didn't have one in this room or the kitchen.
Thank you for info.. on window plastic kits, Phily Collector. After getting windows plasticed from inside by a very kind friend, she and I got curtains hung in all but one room. Figured that might help a bit with utility bills, having more than just blinds. She said that the place had looked a littlle Temporary without curtains and that it looked more "pulled together" with them. I guess it has Felt temporary all this time and still does, often.

Bought things today to offer to free (wild) creatures on day one year after Ann died.

Also got book about Japanese braiding techniques for clothing decoration, jewelry making, etc. on tape so can follow directions. Am hoping to buy some "fair trade" recycled sari yarn to use, but strings of seed beads can be used, ribbon, many things. And I Will dress a Chinese or Chinese American doll in Some color Other than red, kept that in mind, after reading it.

Missed all of the toy sales, didn't have transport after Christmas to stores. Still don't and now inventories are done, I think. But bought several larger dolls. It will be interesting to find out if I like sewing for fashion to 12 inch dolls best, (advantage is I can feel an entire garment easily with one hand, or for larger dolls, like American GGirl, (advantage is can use machine more easily.) Found an American Girl with a MAT for hair cheap on Ebay. After 4 or 5 hours, hair isn't new, but is good. Took a lot of work!

I've been feeling lately like one of the birds, possibly the canary, will die soon. There is a different feeling around the cage before one of them dies. Tonight I went in to feed and water them and found one alive, but down on the floor, bad sign, and there is no emergency small bird vet clinic open at night. Thought the bird Was dead, it didn't move when first touched. But when I began to gently lift it from floor, flew up onto a low perch.

I freaked. The three birds Ann and I had left when she died are all old. One is at Least sixteen, a finch who lives from 10 to 12 years in the wild, according to the bird care book we read before getting any birds, the youngest is probably about 8, not bad for a canary, they can often live until 10, if Not fed colored food to dye their feathers. This food slowly poisons them and can cut their lives in half. Ann and I never used it, but the canary she got me Was color fed for at least a season, may shorten his life. We always tried to take good care of our pets, but did allow the birds to die of old age and put down terminally ill animals when they began suffering and not enjoying living.

So why did I freak? Not sure. First death since Ann last Feb. 1st? Partly. Also, we always loved our pets and shared their deaths together. I will have to bury the first bird to die. Also, their have been times before when I've thought one of these three was ill and had to run my hand over bottom of cage to see if one was gone, had died. Until now, nobody was down, they always seemed to bounce back. Shocked me to find bird body lying limply on cage floor. Sometimes when birds have been together for years and formed a bond, as these have, if one dies the others will die soon after.

I did not touch Ann's body after her death. After touching my father's body when he died and I was fifteen, I am Glad I'm not the one who found Ann under the snow. It's not that I didn't or don't love her. It's that no one warned me how Different and Unreal a body feels in the funeral parlor, before I touched my father's body. I don't expect to forget it. With animals you know when they are living, they feel totally different, and so does the air around them, when they are gone.

The bird cage has that feeling around it now and a bird on the cage floor who allows you to touch it is a very Bad sign, unless it was used to being petted. Mine are used to me making their sounds and will usually answer, but they don't want to be touched, so I don't touch them.

First "family" death since Ann, a shock to touch partly living bird on the cage floor, I guess that's it.

Like I said, these changes are all individually small, but together feel large, hanging curtains, beginning to accept this house as home and wondering if I should, life has been very unpredictable for about a decade, only I feel like I might be settling here for a while, who can say? Learning a new skill, getting more of an inventory ready to go online, the holidays Over without Ann, and now probably burying my first pet alone here. Shall I get another canary if OJ (his original food had turned his feathers a bright peachy orange and when they faded back to normal color, name had stuck) dies? They are expensive now, $100 or more, not like $30 to $50 at a bird show. Now bird breeders are all into larger birds, many of whom will live longer than me. Pet stores take at Least a fifty percent mark up, so $100? Lot of money, probably not.

Oh yah, and cooking the stuffing I invented for Ann.

I have tried to keep in mind since Ann's death that it can come to anyone at any time, including ME. But somehow finding that bird scared me.

Jolly damn post, ain't it?