Not English, ASL and Much, Much More
It's been a Very stressful and busy time. May 24th was emersion ASL. 25th, a dear friend may be homeless if she can't find a night job to supplement her day job. She has pets very dear to her. Been trying to help her find a job and she's been applying Around her day time work hours.
Was so stressful because my first reaction was, "I must take this person in." And I am Not at all ready to do this, even if I Could support another person on my income partially, which is doubtful. And I can't handle any more pets; already have more than I want.
I was very frightened, guilty, angry, and came to the conclusion that I would do whatever I could to help, instead of saying "move in."
Ann, the partner of 20 years who died last year was in a very similar situation and although I did not want to I said "move in." We both gained from being Forced economically to live in the same house. We also Fought verbally for Years, struggling to deal with our differences, as in many ways we were complete opposites. We both deeply loved and deeply hurt the other person's feelings. I just Couldn't do it again. So I have been annoying everyone I know to find job openings. I will help with food her food stamps won't cover, offer shower and kitchen privileges, pay to store any frozen food she may have, If a job can't be found, Another job, and listen. I hope my friend won't Need another roof and that I can do enough.
Major weather changes here, planting in the garden, Late, practicing ASL, getting Tons of paper mail and E-mail cries for help, (someone sold my name for Sure!) and I was Certainly trained to feel both responsible and Guilty, but What the hell do they think I am, a Bank?
For the first time in my life I am growing a sense of self-protection. This doesn't mean not caring, it just means there Are no guarantees of Anything for Any of us and it's fine for me to look out for my own interests as well as those of others. Sounds simple, but if you don't have this and must develop it as an adult, it Ain't!
A lot of pain in my shoulders, from sitting crooked in computer chair to read the Braille display, which Is still very helpful. Pain in my hands is worse with ASL and Life!
But I Finally got something which would be Obvious to anyone whose first language was ASL. Many of the signs look rude in English, from an English speaker's point of view, Especially a Sighted English speaker.
But neither ASL not TASL (Tactile ASL) are English. TASL may be a bit closer to English, as it is smaller signs and sometimes mixed with "signed English" signs and fingerspelling by people like me who grew up hearing.
But it Is a different language with its own syntax, word order, and sign derivation unrelated to English words. Many signs are related to old visual cues. The older version of the sign for Girl is drawing a bonnet string down the jaw from under the ear. The sign for Coffee is a grinding motion. And if I understand correctly, signs deaf people have used to communicate for centuries have been developed in many countries. So in American Sign Language there are probably signs related to visual customs of other cultures.
It is difficult to disconnect TASL signs from what they may look like to a sighted English speaker. But with few exceptions, they Aren't related. Some words in other spoken languages may sound funny or rude to hearing English speakers.
I do not know how to spell it but there is a dam near
Lake of the Ozarks, (I think) called Bagnol Dam. For an unknown reason that name with the word Dam cracks me up. It sounds like it ought to be a curse in some other language when people run it together in speech. Ah, Bagnolcamn that!
In the same way TASL signs are a New language for me, a visual language, or in my case a tactile one, with no more relation than Cherokee to English.
Also have been doing a bit of sewing.
I'm fine, just achy and exhausted.
Oh, Philly Collector, you shouldn't have told me about that "Going Out of Business Sale at Maddies Dolls." But it will hopefully be fun to have something to receive which Isn't stressful or painful.
P.S. If I disappear permanently from this blog we can All Thank Blogger.com I must write in word, jump through
Bagnoldamned Blogger hoops, and Then Cut and Paste.
I have been Warned, Support for the Old Blogger format will soon be vanishing and the Current format is Not accessible for a screen reader or Braille display hooked to one. Don't know what I will do then.