Besides feeling angry or frustrated that Ann is not here to help me, there was a bunch of stuff I hit yesterday. I don't like taking dog out at night with no one to call to in the house, if I need help. And I must have entered the angry stage of grieving. Ann had every right to leave, whenever her spirit decided it was time. An accident may be an accident or it just may be the way a person's spirit's chooses, of leaving. I am not wise enough to decide which Ann's death was.
Yesterday started with a dentist appointment. Evidently I've been grinding my teeth in my sleep enough to bruise the bone underneath. Glad I put a bit of Ann's life insurance money ahead for a dentist or I'd have had one hell of a bill, but I didn't. Everyone in that dentist's office is extremely kind and patient with me making payments. So I am Not complaining about them in any way. Just feel frustrated with the circumstance, fried my prepayment to find out I was doing something in my sleep. Will have to go back onto the payment system when something Really serious is wrong.
Then a dear friend took me shopping for groceries. We both forgot the adds for luxuries like pumpkin bread, a pound of salmon on sale, and cheap cat litter, which Ain't a luxury. I did not sleep well at all the night before. Sometimes I look forward to something so much I feel very angry when it doesn't work out. I couldn't seem to stop this feeling, so, I determined Not to take it out on my friend. After all, I make mistakes too, I didn't think to ask if we had the add. And my friend has been very kind!
Kept my inner temper tantrum to myself. Then someone I care about a lot came over. Ann and I used to be a "transportation hub." By this I mean that if we got something we did not need we worked, investing time to find out what social agency or individual Did need it. I have decided to try and continue this tradition. Sometimes I just have a feeling that a specific object is going to, or Should go to a specific person. The person who came over needed a thing which I'd been keeping, which had belonged to Ann. I let it go with difficulty, even though I know I will do fine without it. Considered it a good practice for nonattachment. Just as not taking my internal tantrum out on my friend was a good practice in patience. So far as I know, neither of them has ever read this blog. One doesn't know about it, the other is too busy and overwhelmed with struggles and duties.
Then I thought about having a room mate again. And instead of sadness, memories of how Ann and I couldn't or didn't meet one another's needs came bubbling up. Logically, it is not the job of one person to meet the emotional needs of another. In real life, when people live together, this is hopefully Some of what they try to do. I began remembering all the things we each had to adjust to about the other. I am not willing to move, told my new landlord when I rented in June this year that I meant to stay a long time, and I do. A room mate with pets, who does art, who eats differently than I do, we would need a bigger house. I use one bedroom to sleep in and one to work in, sewing, beading, storing fabric and dolls, etc. That leaves one room for the bird' cage, , a file cabinet for papers and a love seat which folds out into a bed for company. This house either needs one occupant with a lot of stuff who works from home, or a cohesive family unit with two parents, where at least one works Away from home, and a school age kid. I became angrier, realizing I need time to heal, don't want another room mate.
You can be best friends with someone, but until you Live with them there is still a Lot you cannot know! Do they snore loudly? Do they pick up their books and clothing? Do they leave food sitting out to spoil? Do they do their share of the work? Do they eat food You bought, without asking permission?
What if one of you has more income than the other and so pays more, a larger share, of the bills? Does That person have a right to have any say over how much electricity is used? Do you have any access to one another's credit cards? What if one person has more credit than another? Does someone like to watch TV loud at night or play music loud in the morning to help them get going? What if you don't like or trust one another's friends? Do either of you have stinky feet? Does one person jump into an adventure out of curiosity while the other holds back so much they have to be forced to change by circumstances?,. And if one of you finds a boyfriend or girlfriend, can they bring that person home to spend the night? And can you each let the other person be who they are and Not expect them or push them to change into who you need or Want them to be?
Ann and I had to struggle with some, but not all of these questions. We both ate similarly, had our own rooms, agreed not to bring guests home for the night, and neither of us stole from the other. We were both night owls, who worked hard to cope with a day time schedule. We generally liked the same kinds of music. We helped one another as best we could and became better at it with time. But it was a real struggle for many years, as we were very different kinds of people from differing social classes and backgrounds. I don't know of any two people who worked harder than we did to make a life together. And I know of very few people who work as hard, married or not.
I do not want to do such Hard Work again, in addition to learning to cope with my own life separate from Ann and trying to find out who I might be as an unpartnered individual.
Today I woke thinking, "I don't want another day!" but Wendi, my friend and healthcare aide is so patient and easy to work with that she made the day painless and comfortable, I am Thankful to her!
Writing Christmas cards (Wendi has beautiful handwriting, I have to type) was very hard. But we're almost done, yeah! I don't begrudge Anyone a Christmas card, but it was hard to think of what to say without the help of someone who also knew the people in my family. I feel tired nearly all of the time. So much to think and feel!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Why is Google Considering Quitting Chamber of Commerce?
I am neither a Republican nor a Democrat. Your political preferences aren't my business and I put this info. here only for your consideration. Please consider it. Thank you.
Click here to sign your name:
"Google, stand up for democracy and your users—quit the U.S. Chamber of Commerce!"
Sign the Petition!
Dear MoveOn member,
Right now we have a huge opportunity to deal what's being called a "serious blow
to one of Washington's most powerful lobbies."
1
The U.S. Chamber of Commerce is an army of lobbyists for hire by mega-corporations
like banks and those in the fossil fuel industry.
In 2009, it spent more corporate money on lobbying than the next five biggest spenders
combined.
2
And 93% of its campaign spending goes to support Republicans and attack Democrats.
3
Google is a paying member of the Chamber, which means that part of the money they
make from Google users—ordinary people like us using Gmail, Google search, and other
Google products—goes into the Chamber's pockets to fight for Wall Street and Big
Oil. But the
Washington Post
and Politico recently reported that
at Google headquarters, employees are intensely debating whether Google should quit
the Chamber in the next few weeks.
4
Google quitting would be a huge blow to the Chamber's credibility. That's why we're
partnering with SumOfUs, a new movement to give consumers a voice in corporate decisions,
to make the case to Google that they should leave the Chamber. As Google users, we
can help those Google employees make their case.
Sign the petition now from Google users to Google employees to ask them to stand up for us and our democracy by quitting the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.
Google's unofficial motto is "Don't Be Evil." And they want to do what's right for
their users.
But by staying in the Chamber, they're legitimizing an institution that's hurting
their users all around the world every day.
That's why we're partnering with the new organization SumOfUs to encourage Google
to leave the Chamber.
There are dozens of reasons for Google employees—and Google users—to want Google
out of the Chamber.
Google's business model relies on a free and open Internet; right now the Chamber
is pushing Congress to pass an Internet censorship bill that would empower big corporations
to shut off ordinary citizens' websites without even a hearing.
5
Google invests millions in renewable energy; the Chamber has called for a "Scopes
monkey trial" to assault the science of climate change.
6
Google leads the world in workplace policies supporting LGBT employees; the Chamber
fights against basic anti-discrimination laws.
7
The Chamber's power rests on its credibility as a voice for business. When Apple
quit the Chamber in 2009 for ideological reasons, it made headlines all over the
world.
8
If Google quits, it will be huge news and will undermine the Chamber's influence
in Washington.
Google users are the 99%. The Chamber is the 1%.
Join the call now for Google to be a champion for its users all over the world by
quitting the U.S. Chamber of Commerce:
http://civic.moveon.org/googlechamber/?id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=4
Thanks for all you do.
–Daniel, Julia, Elena, Peter, and the rest of the team
Sources:
1. "Google mulls divorcing Chamber of Commerce," Politico, November 4, 2011
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1111/67603.html
2. "New Lobbying Reports Show Big Business Keeps Spending to Influence Politics,"
Center for Responsive Politics, January 21, 2010
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=86337&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=5
3. "The U.S. Chamber of Commerce: Leading the Charge in Electing a Republican Congress,"
U.S. Chamber Watch (PDF), November 2010
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=268371&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=6
4. "Google mulls divorcing Chamber of Commerce," Politico, November 4, 2011
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1111/67603.html
5. "Sopa condemned by web giants as 'internet blacklist bill,'"
The Guardian, November 16, 2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=268372&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=7
6. "Way Behind the Curve," The New York Times
, September 29, 2009
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/30/opinion/30wed3.html
7. "The U.S. Chamber: Not a Friend to LGBT Businesses," U.S. ChamberWatch, April
25, 2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=268373&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=8
8. "Apple Leaves U.S. Chamber Over Its Climate Position,"
Washington Post, October 6, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=85265&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=9
Want to support our work?
MoveOn Civic Action is entirely funded by our 5 million members–no corporate contributions,
no big checks from CEOs. And our tiny staff ensures that small contributions go a
long way.
Chip in here.
This email was sent on December 6, 2011. To change your email address
or update your contact info,
click here
. To remove yourself from this list,
click here
.
Click here to sign your name:
"Google, stand up for democracy and your users—quit the U.S. Chamber of Commerce!"
Sign the Petition!
Dear MoveOn member,
Right now we have a huge opportunity to deal what's being called a "serious blow
to one of Washington's most powerful lobbies."
1
The U.S. Chamber of Commerce is an army of lobbyists for hire by mega-corporations
like banks and those in the fossil fuel industry.
In 2009, it spent more corporate money on lobbying than the next five biggest spenders
combined.
2
And 93% of its campaign spending goes to support Republicans and attack Democrats.
3
Google is a paying member of the Chamber, which means that part of the money they
make from Google users—ordinary people like us using Gmail, Google search, and other
Google products—goes into the Chamber's pockets to fight for Wall Street and Big
Oil. But the
Washington Post
and Politico recently reported that
at Google headquarters, employees are intensely debating whether Google should quit
the Chamber in the next few weeks.
4
Google quitting would be a huge blow to the Chamber's credibility. That's why we're
partnering with SumOfUs, a new movement to give consumers a voice in corporate decisions,
to make the case to Google that they should leave the Chamber. As Google users, we
can help those Google employees make their case.
Sign the petition now from Google users to Google employees to ask them to stand up for us and our democracy by quitting the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.
Google's unofficial motto is "Don't Be Evil." And they want to do what's right for
their users.
But by staying in the Chamber, they're legitimizing an institution that's hurting
their users all around the world every day.
That's why we're partnering with the new organization SumOfUs to encourage Google
to leave the Chamber.
There are dozens of reasons for Google employees—and Google users—to want Google
out of the Chamber.
Google's business model relies on a free and open Internet; right now the Chamber
is pushing Congress to pass an Internet censorship bill that would empower big corporations
to shut off ordinary citizens' websites without even a hearing.
5
Google invests millions in renewable energy; the Chamber has called for a "Scopes
monkey trial" to assault the science of climate change.
6
Google leads the world in workplace policies supporting LGBT employees; the Chamber
fights against basic anti-discrimination laws.
7
The Chamber's power rests on its credibility as a voice for business. When Apple
quit the Chamber in 2009 for ideological reasons, it made headlines all over the
world.
8
If Google quits, it will be huge news and will undermine the Chamber's influence
in Washington.
Google users are the 99%. The Chamber is the 1%.
Join the call now for Google to be a champion for its users all over the world by
quitting the U.S. Chamber of Commerce:
http://civic.moveon.org/googlechamber/?id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=4
Thanks for all you do.
–Daniel, Julia, Elena, Peter, and the rest of the team
Sources:
1. "Google mulls divorcing Chamber of Commerce," Politico, November 4, 2011
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1111/67603.html
2. "New Lobbying Reports Show Big Business Keeps Spending to Influence Politics,"
Center for Responsive Politics, January 21, 2010
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=86337&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=5
3. "The U.S. Chamber of Commerce: Leading the Charge in Electing a Republican Congress,"
U.S. Chamber Watch (PDF), November 2010
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=268371&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=6
4. "Google mulls divorcing Chamber of Commerce," Politico, November 4, 2011
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1111/67603.html
5. "Sopa condemned by web giants as 'internet blacklist bill,'"
The Guardian, November 16, 2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=268372&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=7
6. "Way Behind the Curve," The New York Times
, September 29, 2009
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/30/opinion/30wed3.html
7. "The U.S. Chamber: Not a Friend to LGBT Businesses," U.S. ChamberWatch, April
25, 2011
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=268373&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=8
8. "Apple Leaves U.S. Chamber Over Its Climate Position,"
Washington Post, October 6, 2009
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=85265&id=33568-9089709-LuX1V_x&t=9
Want to support our work?
MoveOn Civic Action is entirely funded by our 5 million members–no corporate contributions,
no big checks from CEOs. And our tiny staff ensures that small contributions go a
long way.
Chip in here.
This email was sent on December 6, 2011. To change your email address
or update your contact info,
click here
. To remove yourself from this list,
click here
.
Unwelcome Visit, Snow
Last night a man I don't know came to the door at about 8:00 P.M. He said he was here to meet Another man I don't know. I explained, truthfully, that I sometimes got calls for this person but had never met him. This was a rent house, I said, rented at the end of last June, and I had never met the person he was looking for. The guy didn't sound like he believed me and I was left wondering if he planned to come back later.
I am used to hearing nothing at night, when I usually remove my hearing aids. But slept with a hearing aid in, jumping at every noise, (furnace coming on, cat moving about) and had bad dreams. All I could think about was drugs not delivered by the person being looked for. Bad night.
But I'm ok today, mostly. This is our first snow, (not much either) and Ann died under the snow. Hard to avoid thinking about it as I go outside, hoping it hasn't covered all sidewalks, yet. Sometime this Winter it will. Sucks! But I've lived through it before, probably will again.
I am used to hearing nothing at night, when I usually remove my hearing aids. But slept with a hearing aid in, jumping at every noise, (furnace coming on, cat moving about) and had bad dreams. All I could think about was drugs not delivered by the person being looked for. Bad night.
But I'm ok today, mostly. This is our first snow, (not much either) and Ann died under the snow. Hard to avoid thinking about it as I go outside, hoping it hasn't covered all sidewalks, yet. Sometime this Winter it will. Sucks! But I've lived through it before, probably will again.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Kindle that Reads Aloud Not Usable by Blind?
One of my kind sisters tried to get me a Kindle with the "text to speech" feature on sale the afternoon of Thanksgiving Day, online. It would have cost $85 and would have allowed me to take an audio book around the house, to a Dr.'s office (using earphone) to Listen to books being read. Cool, hu?
For a totally blind person it's about as cool as a touch panel on a microwave without any tactile markings. As my sister said, "You know it works, but you don't know how."
You see, the Menus Don't Speak. To get "text to speech" one has to Visually read the menu, (look at little arrows maybe? don't know.) and Visually Choose the command for the thing to start reading. How much more expensive would it be to either use tactile markings with an audio cassette of instructions, or to make the Menus talk Too!
I may have to save up for a $300 machine if I want to listen to the latest audio books anywhere besides Sitting in the room With my computer! Gurrrrrr!
There is a state branch of NLS for Mo. and I am Very Greatful for their services! I have an Excelent reader/advisor who sends me books through the mail. But I often read more than one book at a time. Usually I'm reading a non-fiction book like "The Filter Bubble" which takes concentration with a fiction book from which I also hope to learn, but which draws me in, instead of me choosing to concentrate on it. I can clean house, wait on a Dr., sew or bead or work in the garden while listening to these books because whatever my body is doing, my mind is mostly in the book. For an intense, true story I recommend "The Hungry Tide" by Amitaz Ghosh. For fun and Christmas spirit I recommend "Skipping Christmas" by John Grisham.
For a totally blind person it's about as cool as a touch panel on a microwave without any tactile markings. As my sister said, "You know it works, but you don't know how."
You see, the Menus Don't Speak. To get "text to speech" one has to Visually read the menu, (look at little arrows maybe? don't know.) and Visually Choose the command for the thing to start reading. How much more expensive would it be to either use tactile markings with an audio cassette of instructions, or to make the Menus talk Too!
I may have to save up for a $300 machine if I want to listen to the latest audio books anywhere besides Sitting in the room With my computer! Gurrrrrr!
There is a state branch of NLS for Mo. and I am Very Greatful for their services! I have an Excelent reader/advisor who sends me books through the mail. But I often read more than one book at a time. Usually I'm reading a non-fiction book like "The Filter Bubble" which takes concentration with a fiction book from which I also hope to learn, but which draws me in, instead of me choosing to concentrate on it. I can clean house, wait on a Dr., sew or bead or work in the garden while listening to these books because whatever my body is doing, my mind is mostly in the book. For an intense, true story I recommend "The Hungry Tide" by Amitaz Ghosh. For fun and Christmas spirit I recommend "Skipping Christmas" by John Grisham.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Blind and Sighted People How to Describe a Face
When I talk about the faces of dolls, or for that matter people, with a sighted person, I never know if we're communicating.. I have found that with dolls we usually Aren't. Sighted people are usually describing the paint job on a doll's face, and I am usually referring to the mold used. But with people, those with vision aren't so easily fooled by the "paint".
So, since sighted people see in three dimensions and I must touch in two, then assemble a complete picture in my mind, are we saying the same things when we use the same words?
When a sighted person says that a person has a "round face" are they talking about the shape of the face from right side of it to left side? Or are they saying that if I start at the forehead and trace down one side of a face, going beneath the chin and up the other side back to the forehead, the shape is basically round? Maybe they're saying that the face is round in Both of these ways and without the specifics of nose, chin, the face is like half of a sphere. Which is it, or is it different for each sighted person calling a face "round"?
Long faces are easier, I am guessing that they are long from top of forehead to bottom of chin.
Almond shaped eyes are another confuser. Only Ann, who was an artist, knew what I meant when I studied doll faces and said that some dolls had almond shapped eyes because their cheekbones tilted them up, and some had this shape because the upper eyelid came down in a curve which brought a point to the outside corner of an eye. Is this how people who are East Asian tell what country or countries a person is from or do sighted people even notice this? Some African people have almond shaped eyes, and so do some Native Americans. And in "doll world" just about Everybody does. It is confusing.
An oval face should in theory be the same width at the forehead top as at the chin, but foreheads are almost Always wider than chins, so what is an oval face?
An egg shaped face kind of makes sense, pointed end of egg is at the chin, right?
A rectangular face should be longer from forehead to chin than it is wide, I think. But where does that leave facial features? Someone might have a square face, (if you mean tracing around its outer contours) and large cheeks while another person could have the same square face and small cheeks. This may be an untranslatable language. Sometimes Ann and I ran into problems in her descriptions of art. Finally I discovered that what she was doing was showing an aspect of a thing. It could be emotion, or the imitation of the play of light and shadow on a thing or person. She liked to work with reflections of something shown and shown again in water and sometimes water and sky. I understood intelectually, but this was Out of my physical experience, completely. Still, she taught me a lot about sight and what light, shadows, and reflections can do.
High cheekbones is another problem. Cheekbones aren't the bones just below the eye, protecting the eye. on dolls they are clearly marked out, but on human faces the scale is too big to find them easily, especially if there is flesh on the face, the person isn't Super thin like a model. I have been told I have higher than usual cheekbones. I can feel them at the side of my face, making that the widest part of my face. Is that what people mean? Or do sighted people mean they can follow the cheekbone around visually and separate it, in the front of the face, under the eye protecting bone?
I will take a doll quiz. I would say if asked that the Mackey face is small and square. I have a Mackey faced Barbie from Kenya and I really Like her face! I would say that Imani dolls seem to have triangular faces. They are pointed in front and widen as you trac the sides of the face, (chin, at cheek level, and almost at forehead) back toward the hair. Are we speaking the same language? I would say that the SIS Dolls have round faces. Does this mean also that they have strong cheekbones to hold their faces in a rounded shape? On male dolls, because features are more pronounced, I can follow individual features better. Also, Disney dolls often seem to have clearer face shapes. Bell's face is kind of triangular, narrowing at the chin. The faces of Pocohontas and Coco`um have prominent cheekbones which slant their eyes, while Nacoma has a smaller, rounder face. Disney's Snow White has a basically round face while Barbie's Snow White has a longer, thinner face. I don't know what shape I'd call the face of Barbie's Snow White. a thin oval. Mulan has a lovely face, (like my Quan Yin statue) with eyes that slant because her cheekbones do. What shape is Mulan's face? It is fairly straight up and down on the sides below her forehead, but pointed in front.
Ann once said I had one of the most varied doll collections she had ever seen. I think it's because I pay attention mostly to the face and hair.
I like interesting noses that take up space, like Mulan's, Houda's a doll called Elise has a gorgeous face and nose, and I think the nose of Bionce Knowles is beautiful. Opal has a good nose and the Get Set Club dolls All had and have great faces. Then there is Cher, the Calisto doll, the Original Xena doll, all are unique and cool. It's actually easier to feel shape on a smaller doll's face (play scale) than on an 18 inch doll's face. I can get the whole face at once with an 11 or 12 inch tall figure. But I haven't ever been able to translate that understanding to my own face or to that of larger dolls. I find this Frustrating!
So, since sighted people see in three dimensions and I must touch in two, then assemble a complete picture in my mind, are we saying the same things when we use the same words?
When a sighted person says that a person has a "round face" are they talking about the shape of the face from right side of it to left side? Or are they saying that if I start at the forehead and trace down one side of a face, going beneath the chin and up the other side back to the forehead, the shape is basically round? Maybe they're saying that the face is round in Both of these ways and without the specifics of nose, chin, the face is like half of a sphere. Which is it, or is it different for each sighted person calling a face "round"?
Long faces are easier, I am guessing that they are long from top of forehead to bottom of chin.
Almond shaped eyes are another confuser. Only Ann, who was an artist, knew what I meant when I studied doll faces and said that some dolls had almond shapped eyes because their cheekbones tilted them up, and some had this shape because the upper eyelid came down in a curve which brought a point to the outside corner of an eye. Is this how people who are East Asian tell what country or countries a person is from or do sighted people even notice this? Some African people have almond shaped eyes, and so do some Native Americans. And in "doll world" just about Everybody does. It is confusing.
An oval face should in theory be the same width at the forehead top as at the chin, but foreheads are almost Always wider than chins, so what is an oval face?
An egg shaped face kind of makes sense, pointed end of egg is at the chin, right?
A rectangular face should be longer from forehead to chin than it is wide, I think. But where does that leave facial features? Someone might have a square face, (if you mean tracing around its outer contours) and large cheeks while another person could have the same square face and small cheeks. This may be an untranslatable language. Sometimes Ann and I ran into problems in her descriptions of art. Finally I discovered that what she was doing was showing an aspect of a thing. It could be emotion, or the imitation of the play of light and shadow on a thing or person. She liked to work with reflections of something shown and shown again in water and sometimes water and sky. I understood intelectually, but this was Out of my physical experience, completely. Still, she taught me a lot about sight and what light, shadows, and reflections can do.
High cheekbones is another problem. Cheekbones aren't the bones just below the eye, protecting the eye. on dolls they are clearly marked out, but on human faces the scale is too big to find them easily, especially if there is flesh on the face, the person isn't Super thin like a model. I have been told I have higher than usual cheekbones. I can feel them at the side of my face, making that the widest part of my face. Is that what people mean? Or do sighted people mean they can follow the cheekbone around visually and separate it, in the front of the face, under the eye protecting bone?
I will take a doll quiz. I would say if asked that the Mackey face is small and square. I have a Mackey faced Barbie from Kenya and I really Like her face! I would say that Imani dolls seem to have triangular faces. They are pointed in front and widen as you trac the sides of the face, (chin, at cheek level, and almost at forehead) back toward the hair. Are we speaking the same language? I would say that the SIS Dolls have round faces. Does this mean also that they have strong cheekbones to hold their faces in a rounded shape? On male dolls, because features are more pronounced, I can follow individual features better. Also, Disney dolls often seem to have clearer face shapes. Bell's face is kind of triangular, narrowing at the chin. The faces of Pocohontas and Coco`um have prominent cheekbones which slant their eyes, while Nacoma has a smaller, rounder face. Disney's Snow White has a basically round face while Barbie's Snow White has a longer, thinner face. I don't know what shape I'd call the face of Barbie's Snow White. a thin oval. Mulan has a lovely face, (like my Quan Yin statue) with eyes that slant because her cheekbones do. What shape is Mulan's face? It is fairly straight up and down on the sides below her forehead, but pointed in front.
Ann once said I had one of the most varied doll collections she had ever seen. I think it's because I pay attention mostly to the face and hair.
I like interesting noses that take up space, like Mulan's, Houda's a doll called Elise has a gorgeous face and nose, and I think the nose of Bionce Knowles is beautiful. Opal has a good nose and the Get Set Club dolls All had and have great faces. Then there is Cher, the Calisto doll, the Original Xena doll, all are unique and cool. It's actually easier to feel shape on a smaller doll's face (play scale) than on an 18 inch doll's face. I can get the whole face at once with an 11 or 12 inch tall figure. But I haven't ever been able to translate that understanding to my own face or to that of larger dolls. I find this Frustrating!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Visiting a Psych. Ward in the Ozarks
Today I went to visit a friend who found it necessary to visit a psych. ward for the first time. It was scary. When I worked with blind people in the prison system, they had to search anything I brought in, Braille teaching books, etc. Same here, but they let me keep my white cane. I was worried that they wouldn't. It was scary giving up my large button, amplified, cell phone. Not being able to see where the staff were, what would I do if I needed help?
I wasn't worried that the individual I visited might loose it and do something dangerous, but I couldn't see other patients in the ward.
All went well and it was hard. I was glad to visit with my friend, but it reminded me of state blind school on a weekend. There, all of the kids who were residential (lived there for months on end) were lonely, bored, and very badly in need of comfort! One instructor from the school began to bring their dog, but had to stop because both the person and dog were mobbed by desperate kids trying to touch another being from the outside.
My friend said they had not seen the sky, felt the weather for days and missed it. While we were visiting a person came over and occasionally interrupted us with questions about himself/herself. I could feel this person's need for kindness and attention and comfort. I smiled at this person while my friend talked to them by name.
I had once considered checking myself into a psych. ward and after visiting, was glad I hadn't. My friend was More than ready to leave!
What they do there is try to get someone admitted stabilized, partly with a round of activities to keep them busy. Also, they administer drugs. My friend went in voluntarily, but was told a Dr. would have to ok his or her leaving. I suppose if my friend left Without the official nod, it would be leaving "Against Medical Advise" (AMA) which counts as a bad grade when one is seeking psychological help.
What surprised me, and shouldn't have in today's economy, was that there was no After Care Planning. My friend quickly realized that no one was going to do anything to fix their problems. My friend was told to find a therapist who would accept Medicaid, the only insurance they are fortunate enough to have. This will not be easy!
So I, possessing only a Bachelor's degree in Socil Work and a whole lot of experience, began talking with the person I visited about after care and that person talked with me about what They thought would work, then took notes on things we Both thought made sense. This person is Truly overwhelmed with their life situation and self-hate. This person is going to need to find things which make them happy to use as comforting rewards, And will need emotional support after leaving the hospital.
Sorry about the awkward writing. But I'm not interested in disclosing what town the hospital was in or anything about my friend.
I hope I can help my friend, but they are right, you have to get help sometimes, But, you Must Invest in your Own life and Healing to survive and hopefully begin to Thrive!
For me, dolls have been a large part of my healing as therapy is scarce here for people without good insurance or money, and Helpful therapy is even More scarce.
I wasn't worried that the individual I visited might loose it and do something dangerous, but I couldn't see other patients in the ward.
All went well and it was hard. I was glad to visit with my friend, but it reminded me of state blind school on a weekend. There, all of the kids who were residential (lived there for months on end) were lonely, bored, and very badly in need of comfort! One instructor from the school began to bring their dog, but had to stop because both the person and dog were mobbed by desperate kids trying to touch another being from the outside.
My friend said they had not seen the sky, felt the weather for days and missed it. While we were visiting a person came over and occasionally interrupted us with questions about himself/herself. I could feel this person's need for kindness and attention and comfort. I smiled at this person while my friend talked to them by name.
I had once considered checking myself into a psych. ward and after visiting, was glad I hadn't. My friend was More than ready to leave!
What they do there is try to get someone admitted stabilized, partly with a round of activities to keep them busy. Also, they administer drugs. My friend went in voluntarily, but was told a Dr. would have to ok his or her leaving. I suppose if my friend left Without the official nod, it would be leaving "Against Medical Advise" (AMA) which counts as a bad grade when one is seeking psychological help.
What surprised me, and shouldn't have in today's economy, was that there was no After Care Planning. My friend quickly realized that no one was going to do anything to fix their problems. My friend was told to find a therapist who would accept Medicaid, the only insurance they are fortunate enough to have. This will not be easy!
So I, possessing only a Bachelor's degree in Socil Work and a whole lot of experience, began talking with the person I visited about after care and that person talked with me about what They thought would work, then took notes on things we Both thought made sense. This person is Truly overwhelmed with their life situation and self-hate. This person is going to need to find things which make them happy to use as comforting rewards, And will need emotional support after leaving the hospital.
Sorry about the awkward writing. But I'm not interested in disclosing what town the hospital was in or anything about my friend.
I hope I can help my friend, but they are right, you have to get help sometimes, But, you Must Invest in your Own life and Healing to survive and hopefully begin to Thrive!
For me, dolls have been a large part of my healing as therapy is scarce here for people without good insurance or money, and Helpful therapy is even More scarce.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Things to Like and Not!
Things that drive me nuts! Fifty pound dog learning from ten (at least) pound cat how to Jump onto the bed when he's Bored! Scares the sh-- out of me when sleeping! Ten pound cat (see above) Thundering across top of bed, just over my head when he Wants food, whether I'm Trying to sleep or not. Scares the . . . you get the idea. Same person, having No emergency, calling me Three times a night! Annoys the . . . of me. Emptying the cat's latrine, grosses me out as is full of . . . Gag!
Same doll faces, just new paint jobs. (Beats the H out of Latrine duty though!) Dolls meant for three year-olds when dolls are dressed like sex workers.
It Creeps me Out going out in the dark, (when they let the dangerous bipeds, (like us but dangerous) lose. Must do this to take out dog.
Things I like, learning something new, trying new food, reading, sewing, new doll faces, cool feeling fabrics, learning about other peoples, customs, songs, music. Walking two miles with a friend, (when wind isn't ripping face off bones. Gardening, often, harvesting, Always. First touch of Sun on face in the morning, smell of rain. Beading, designing doll clothes and bead patterns myself, (but much more time consuming than using someone Elses pattern). New doll or human hair styles. Bird winding, playing tape of canaries singing makes my canary try to outsing them and the finches shout. I think they miss it. Sometimes when I feed and water they begin the shout and I swear they're telling me to start the tape. And, for better or worse, dogs and often cats.
Same doll faces, just new paint jobs. (Beats the H out of Latrine duty though!) Dolls meant for three year-olds when dolls are dressed like sex workers.
It Creeps me Out going out in the dark, (when they let the dangerous bipeds, (like us but dangerous) lose. Must do this to take out dog.
Things I like, learning something new, trying new food, reading, sewing, new doll faces, cool feeling fabrics, learning about other peoples, customs, songs, music. Walking two miles with a friend, (when wind isn't ripping face off bones. Gardening, often, harvesting, Always. First touch of Sun on face in the morning, smell of rain. Beading, designing doll clothes and bead patterns myself, (but much more time consuming than using someone Elses pattern). New doll or human hair styles. Bird winding, playing tape of canaries singing makes my canary try to outsing them and the finches shout. I think they miss it. Sometimes when I feed and water they begin the shout and I swear they're telling me to start the tape. And, for better or worse, dogs and often cats.
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