Blogs in a Row.
I'm going through a major med. Change and it's not fun. Also, my access to the internet is gone and there is no telling When I'll get help to work with the "Well all you have to do is click on the green icon" people (tech. support). So I get a break from email cries for help and will have to write blog posts more than one at a time. I can only save four documents at a time in my ancient version of "Word" so must create "blogs in a Row." I will title each post separately, so you can skip, come back to them later, etc. I wish I could catch up on doll news, as weekends are usually the time I save for reading the last week's blogs. But, not an option.
Sept. 19th, Thursday.
I'm finding that working alone at a repetitive design is calming. Made a (for me)
complex necklace last night with woven gold beat pattern, and the amber related beads
separating each pattern in gold. Lastnight fell asleep between 1:30 and 2:00 AM.
Woke at 7:00. So began a new necklace of clear, gold, and green on a small velvet
triangle so dark purple it's almost black. Will have to see if the green clashes,
but I don't think so.
I had a nasty dream last night, probably REM rebound as it was the first night with
no zoloft or amytriptaline. The Good thing about it was that as soon as I woke I
realized it Was a dream. I hate the ones where I can't wake and they just go on
all night, leading to extreme terror throughout the day.
Today I have to deal with my healthcare aide and a computer instructor. We haven't
been getting very far with the Braille computer which Should allow me to interact
with the Internet, but Doesn't. I can receive but not send any info., Great!
Hope to keep my snarlyness and jumpiness in check, realizing it's the med. change.
I do better when things are quiet and I'm alone.
Night of Sept 20 I got even less sleep, so may be good thing internet is gone. But if I had access to it via Braille computer would be Much easier to write with a bandaged finger. To write Braille via machine (there is also a slower hand written form) you choose combinations of keys, each key being larger than a typewriter key as there are only six, and press down on the specific combination you want. I write Contracted Braille, which I think may be similar to print short hand. Letters which come together often in English (with, and, ing, the) have just one symbol representing the whole group. No picking out words letter by letter. If that Braille computer worked I could send my blogs, written in contracted Braille to blogger and you would see them in print.
I get to capitalize my language of literacy each time I writeeeeee it since it's a man's name. Maybe flat sh—readers (print) should rename that system after someone so you can capitalize your language of literacy, too.
Saturday, Sept. 21
We Live in an Old Factory (doll talk)
It's hard to find anyone here willing to talk to you. We are all between 5 and 7. We live in a grungy little town in
where it's kind of sandy and dry and the only factory in town, well, it's just outside of town, closed. So we run aways took it over. Oklahoma
The factory doesn't exist any more but it used to and it was built of cardboard and tape. It had a middle part which was up in the air and underneath is where the ones of us who had horses kept them.
It's none of your business who I am but I'll tell you a little about some of the kids here.
At first there were only a few of us. I'm Runs Away, because that's all I do. I have a little horse and I take off, until I came to live at this place. I'm friends with a blind girl called Trusts Only Animals. She in Indian too and gets on her young horse so we can ride away together. She has a puppy. She likes to squeeze herself into small places and hide when adults are around. At a blind school she used to feel safe in the bottom of a closet with the doors closed and she didn't make noise. Most of the time no one missed her until some other kid in there with her, (not me, I like alone places) would pipe up so people knew where they were.
Trusts Only Animals spends time outside at home doing things like seeing if she can weave a bird nest out of grass and weeds which will stay together and make a home for some bird. She would be happy if this worked and some bird chose the house she made for it.
At school she plays secretly with little toy animals inside a drawer. That feels safer to her and keeps her from loosing toys or getting them taken away by kids who can see them.
We each brought what we could from home. There is an old piece of carpet on the Factory floor, so we sleep on that. But some of us have a sleeping bag, (glasses case) or blanket, (potholder) we brought from home. In the cold we just have to sleep cuddled together and share to keep warm. At the dumb blind school Trusts Only Animals says they think there is something wrong with sharing a bed. But when we used to get sent home before we ran away we shared a bed. It's warmer in Winter. And if you are with a friend it's nice to have somebody to talk to. She had Terrible dreams at that school.
Sept. 22, Sunday
Turtle (doll talk)
Lots of us always wanted to be a turtle but I really Am one because that's my name. I am a boy who hides in my sleeping bag all day with a Turtle sitting over my heart. When I have to do something in the outside world I send my feelings about everything inside my Turtle and then I can do what I have to. My Turtle is Beautiful with painted designs on his back and he protects me.
Sunday, Sept. 22. Candy (Doll Talk)
Have to keep looking at the stupid calendar to see the day number. Someone started to write "Animal" after Candy's name. Wonder if that means she's related to the hungry little Asian girl who they call Animal.
Anyway, Candy is white with red hair and she is Brilliant. She is the first one who figured out how to carry your inside parts, (you know, feelings) around but Outside your body. Turtle did this, but his Turtle stayed in his sleeping bag whenever he had to get out and do something. So his feelings were not near him. SMART, hu?
But Candy is amazing! She looks very cute to the big ones, wearing a dress with green velvet on it and a green velvet hairbow. But she carries this little backpack of tiny toys on her back. That's where all her feelings go, just as soon as she gets them. It's amazing how when she's alone she can take off her backpack and open it so see what's inside. Then if someone who has no business knowing comes along she just picks up her toys, like they are regular toys, and puts them back in her pack. Rulers don't mind if she carries her toys around, cause she's a kid. They think it's good she keeps them all packed up together. She can be liked by them because she's pretty. They would never guess she is mad.
And Who Says Healing Can't Come Through Dolls? Or through a TV show or whatever.