Saturday, August 20, 2011

Thankful for Today, Sad About the Past and Plastic Coffee

I give Thanks for a Great Day! I slept Very late, had breakfast in silence, chopped what felt like Tons of veggies. in a "clean out the fridge. Mexican style soup with deer burger, read an audio book while I chopped, got some Braille files and a spread sheet on computer in flat stuff better organized, caught up events on Braille calendar which I have decided to make of this year, and listened to blues music as I caught up files and calendar.

Tomorrow a friend is supposed to come over to watch a movie with me, I can help her study, we may walk my dog, and I Hope she will Eat with me, as I Cannot seem to cook for One! I buy too much food for one, then prepare it, then eat it Forever! Much more Fun And better to share. If she likes the soup and bread, maybe I'll send her home with some.

New Subject: Alone, I have more money than Ann and I did together. I helped with things Medicaid doesn't cover: glasses, incontinence pads, dental checks, (very important for people with diabetes) etc. We paid more rent because there were two of us, and Ann needed a house big enough for her power wheelchair.

I feel bad when I have things now to eat or to work with, sewing, which we didn't have when Ann was alive. It was very tempting at first, and at times still is, to live the life Ann wanted. But we were actually quite opposite in what each of us most wished for. So it isn't my job to Be Ann, refusing to be me, out of the fear that I won't Like who Me turns out to be.

I am thankful to have nice food, a house Ann would have loved, etc., but I am very Sad and Regret that Ann had So Little to make her happy. No one person can meet all of another's deepest needs and that was true of me for Ann also. But sometimes I wonder Why I get nice things, and Ann didn't!

The only comfort and hope I have is that Ann is now getting to experience all of the Joy she didn't get, before going on, or in another life. I often pray that the spirit which was Ann is blessed, whoever and wherever she is now. I hope she has happiness which makes my enjoyments look trivial, although they aren't trivial to me, a being with a physical shell here on Earth.

New subject: Plastic coffee anyone? After my glass coffee pot jumped out of the tiny dish drainer I got a bigger drainer and found that it was cheaper to buy a whole New coffee maker that to try and replace the pot, ridiculous! Hope they weren't counting on me getting the same brand, I bought cheaper.

Inside the filter was this little plastic mesh filter. I ran hot water throuh it, washed it with dish soap and rinsed, it Still gave me Plastic Coffee, Very Gross!

So I decided to pitch the thing and just put a paper filter into the filter basket. Real coffee this morning, yea! The mesh thing might be useful to start a seedling in next Spring, but I think I'll recycle it with the hard plastics.

I'm Thankful for this day and ready to crash.

Good night, I wish you happiness.

Well, the Blogger site has done it again. I have a message saying ""these characters are not allowed" but I am not told Which Characters. Is it the word "disgusting"? That's the one I erased first, we'll see. Maybe I accidentally made an obscene typo, but it's hard to go back and reread a post, I don't know why. I was tired and didn't type it up in Word first. Sorry for any characters which may Disgust you.

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