Saturday, November 19, 2011

Hard Week, and the Look and Feel of Porcelain

It's been a Long week and I am Tired. Dog was sick, got me up at night to go out, which is excellent, only one inside mess to clean up. He's much better now. A friend brought fleas over from her cat and both the dog and I are allergic to the bites. In the case of the dog, if I don't keep him on Benadryl on a regular basis, he rips out chunks of fur and scratches himself bloody. Then it gets infected and I have to medicate him More and pay a large vet bill. I already have him on a monthly pill to kill any flea which bites him, but that doesn't stop his allergic reaction TO the bites.

If I scratch a flea bite, it is just like a mosquito bite, swells up, turns ret, etc. The poor dog had to have his rump shaved, (a friend now calls him "speckle butt" because his skin has the same black and white ticking as his fur) b I am spared humiliation by being able to better control the urge to scratch. (laughing)
So, will have to buy Frontline for the cat at a ridiculous price.

Also this week, I found an unopened card from Ann to me. It was written back in 2007 and was very loving. It threw me for a loop, brought up all of the old unanswered questions about her death again. I thought I was beginning to make peace with the fact that I would never know exactly what happened but the card reopened all of that hurt and upset again.

On the Positive side, I was wishing there was some way we could communicate, so I can choose to accept the card as communication if I want. It is hard, given Ann's sudden death years later, but the best way to proceed.

Also, I am Very fortunate to have anyone in my life who thought so well of me at all! I still miss Ann and the card reminded me how Much I miss Ann.

It's finally beginning to turn cold here, made up a big pot of soup from some of the "mystery" foods from cleaning out the freezer, in case my friends who hunt get a deer. Sometimes "mystery" soup is very strange and requires a lot of adjusting to make it good. But I got lucky this time, all ingredients taste good together. Just added salt, pepper, and some Thai basil, yum. Have broccoli and chese cornbread t go with it, Good Food. So, there are a Lot of dishes to do and I feel so tired I just don't Care! I will get them done, but maybe tomorrow, when I don't expect company.

New subject. The Look and Feel of Porcelain Dolls. Ann once told me that the attraction of porcelain dolls was that the porcelain was porous, like real human skin, so the dolls Looked more real. I dislike the texture of porcelain, it feels rough to me. Never had a wish to own anything porcelain because it is not pleasant to handle. I'm glad human skin doesn't Feel like porcelain, even if it Looks like it. I wouldn't like to hug a porcelain feeling person.


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