I read once a book called "Voices of Our Ancestors" by Dhyani Ywahoo. In it she said that each person had to figure out why they were here. She suggested looking at ones talents and as I get older, I have also looked at what things keep happening in my life. What is easy to do that I keep doing?
The "problem" about this is that one's purpose in life may Not be what one Wants it to be. Native peoples of N. and S. America, had rituals of differing kinds to find out early in their lives what their purpose was. Also, in smaller groups and less technological cultures, parents and especially elders watched young people carefully, for the purpose of nourishing their gifts. These things don't happen in our dominant, post-industrial culture very much.
But I think I have finally figured out why I am here. I'm a bit behind traditional Cherokee people, who are believed to become fully mature adults at age 51. I am 55.
What I Want to do is run a tiny business, creating OOAK (one of a kind) original clothes for dolls. I want to sell these dolls for a price low income and middle income parents can afford, and I want a believable story to go with each doll. It is also important to me that the dolls I sell come from all kinds of ethnic and religious, and non-religious backgrounds. I never seem to run out of clothing designs or stories.
BUT, what I am Meant to do is to help people in many differing ways, who are willing to work for their Own benefit. It might be encouraging a very bright person to go back to college, talking about it with them. It might be helping someone trying to overcome past trauma from abuse. It might be teaching Braille free of charge. It might be offering informal counseling, or connecting people to the right resources. It might be writing about how we can donate relatively cheap, healthier foods to a food pantry.
I'm not aware of a particular name fo what I do. It's a combination of social work and teaching. But whenever I begin having too much time to sew or to spend by myself, someone always comes along who needs something I can give. Sometimes it is food, sometimes something less tangible.
But in Each case the person is doing their Own emotional work. All I do is be a friend in the best way I know how. Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying I am always successful, or great at anything, but I seem to be a good support person for those I know. And being, as Ann and I were, a transportation hub for things to travel through to those who need them is part of this job.
This is really a personal journal entry which probably Doesn't belong online. But it Is something I would have discussed with Ann, if she were alive here. And that is why I started this blog in the first place.
I did not have any sudden revelation or grand experience in realizing why I'm here. But I was told about some affordable apartments by one friend and happened to be talking to another who needs to move and is paying more for her one bedroom apartment than the two bedroom ones I'd just learned about cost. Someone called me needing tolearn Braille mathematical symbols. This person has been through awful medical problems and is wondering why They are here, as they had always wanted to get married and have kids. We ended up talking a long time. This individual's disability has effected their social life, including dating and marriage to a large extent.
So within one day these two small things happened, I will be teaching (as well as I can) Braille math symbols and rules, and hopefully providing emotional support to someone who is bright and willing to work for themselves. As I look at my life, I see that Something like this happens nearly every day. Some relationships I have are based on my willingness to give. Others are mutual, where I receive assistance as well. I will spend part of Christmas day with a friend who is in a difficult emotional place, but who gives back and whose company I enjoy. We will eat mostly junk, talk and laugh when we can, and pretend it isn't Christmas. I am glad to have a Friend to hang out with, since Ann will be gone.
I hope this makes sense, I think I know why I'm here, though it isn't why I Thought I was here or what I had planned.
Today was a day off, did hours of hand sewing (I do this better than machine sewing) cooking soup with cooked beans donated by a friend, and reading (audio) Harry Potter book. But tomorrow I'll be hanging out with someone.
I think sometimes a person's job is to Heal themselves, and in that process, to help others in various ways. It doesn't fit this culture well, or our outward plans, does it? f